What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 08:40
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
She married twice! .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Why do people procrastinate and how can they stop?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
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Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
What is the irony of life according to you?
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Why did i forgive my father ?
Is dating in college necessary? Why and why not?
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
She was in good health!
As i do to all so called friends.?
Why do some people believe that Homelander would be no match for Superman or Thor?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Are there many people here who suffer from schizophrenia?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Why do narcissists want to hurt your feelings, even after they discard you?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
What are some cute stories with your crush?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Is it true that Jehovah's witnesses once thought the world would end in 1975?
We were not on the streets..
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But ive been too sick for many years..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
One cannot live in the past .
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I was very sick at this time too.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
She found it foreign!.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I write beautiful poetry .
I never cut or harmed myself..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I think the readers, may guess!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I was 9 years of age.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I was seconnd youngest,
And i lived it daily.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I don,t even have a pension.
Put me off passion for life!!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Especially a lifetime of it.
All the time i was locked up.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My life is so biszare .
I have no regrets .
I couldn’t, believe it.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
He knew the spot.
I said to her
Would this be the day?
We all went to grammer schools
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
But, we were locked up after school.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
It was going to be , some day.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
When she asked me how she looked .
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
So, i spoilt her more .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Was to survive, this bastard.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
What did i know ?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But it wasn’t much.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
So whats the point in blame.
She wouldn,t have been !
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Im still living with it.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I will be 64.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
My family never makes their pension either.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
She loved him until the end.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Who then, do I blame.?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
(And it was in our own minds.)
Comes on , in middle age.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I was scared of men, in general
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Ive learnt so much.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
This is soul school!.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I waited trembling.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.